


Intervention

by musette22



Category: Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Mackie POV, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 03:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17337617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musette22/pseuds/musette22
Summary: Oneshot, set during the CACW press tour.The boys are being obvious - or is it oblivious? Mackie & RDJ decide it's time to stage an intervention. It doesn't quite go according to plan.





	Intervention

**Author's Note:**

> This little fic was inspired by [this](https://musette22.tumblr.com/post/180599744745/ririsasy-realchemistry-friendship-at-the) moment in one of the CACW press conferences where Chris plucked a hair off Seb’s cheek mid-sentence, but it could easily have been any of the many, many cute Evanstan moments that happened during that press tour. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Kudos are much appreciated, comments make my day! <3

Mackie is trying not to slump in his chair too much, but it’s getting harder to stay vertical with every passing minute. As press conferences go, this isn’t the worst one he’s ever attended, but it somehow just seems to go on and on and on, and frankly, he’s getting kinda hungry. He does perk up a little when Sebastian finally gets asked a question. And about time, too; the poor guy has been sitting front row all this time but hasn’t been addressed once so far.

“Oh good,” Sebastian quips, as the interviewer announces she has a question for him. “I was hoping –”

“It’s about your quads,” Chris interrupts cheekily. Mackie’s noticed him doing that with Sebastian quite a few times recently – kind of like the grown-up equivalent of pulling his pigtails. It elicits a laugh from the crowd and makes Seb suppress a smile, before he turns his attention back to the interviewer.

As he's answering, Sebastian twists in his chair to seek confirmation from Chris about something or other, when suddenly Chris reaches out and touches Seb’s face. It such an unexpected move that it takes Mackie a second to realize he was just grabbing a stray hair and not actually pinching Sebastian's cheek like some buff fairy godmother. Seb startles a little but manages to hide his surprise pretty well – although to someone who knows him better, like Mackie does, it’s obvious that he’s a little flustered. He loses the thread of his reply, shifting in his chair and rubbing his knees.

“Ah, thanks, Chris,” Seb says off-handedly, or seemingly so.

“You’re welcome, dude,” Chris replies, equally nonchalant, dropping the hair to the ground before turning back to the crowd and mouthing, “Friendship,” by way of explanation.

Mackie just barely suppresses a snort. Sure, Chris. _Friendship_. ‘Cause that’s just what bros do, huh. They watch each other so closely they notice stray hairs on the other's face and then invade their personal space with intimate gestures that border on caresses. Mackie darts a look in RDJ’s direction and finds him glancing back at him with a knowing smirk playing on his lips. Yup. He noticed too, then. Come to think of it, he’d be surprised if everyone else hasn’t caught on as well. Sure, Chris is always tactile, but with Seb, it’s different. Too casual to actually be casual, if that makes sense. Mackie doesn’t doubt for a second that there’s something a lot more intimate than friendship going on between the two of them.

Whatever it is, though, he's pretty sure they haven’t told anyone about it yet, which most likely means they would prefer to keep it under wraps, at least for the time being. Which makes it all the more curious that lately, Seb and Chris have been getting increasingly blatant about their affair. The stolen glances and casual touches are becoming more frequent and less covert, and while Mackie is all for them making it public and the hell with what everyone thinks or says, he’s not so sure that they actually mean to be so conspicuous. He suspects that the boys just can’t help but wear their hearts on their sleeves, but he also knows them well enough to guess that they’re not ready to come out to the world just yet. With the way this is going, though, it’s only a matter of time before the cat’s out of the bag.

Maybe it’s time to talk to them about it, Mackie muses. He and RDJ could do it together, even. He’s pretty sure Robert would back him up; would agree that they owe it to their friends to step in when necessary, if only to spare them uncomfortable questions from strangers. He feels instantly better once he's got A Plan to focus on, and for the rest of the press conference entertains himself with butting in on other people’s questions. Not like anyone's actually gonna straight up ask him for his opinions anyway, with all these big shot actors to choose from. Their loss, Mackie thinks with a mental shrug. Not to brag or anything, but his opinions are usually way better than anyone else's. Particularly Tom Holland's.

\---

“Are they a coupla dumbasses?” Mackie asks rhetorically. “ _Yes_. Are we still gonna have their backs because they’re _our_ dumbasses and they’re actually kinda cute together, in a totally gay way? Also yes.”

He’s managed to take RDJ aside for a minute in a deserted hallway, in between the press conference that just ended and the televised show some of them will be doing later at the same studios.

“It is sweet,” Robert agrees. “Sickeningly so, perhaps, but sweet nonetheless.”

Mackie snorts. “Come on, man. You love it.” The mischievous grin Robert gives him in reply tells him all he needs to know. “I just really think they don’t even realize how obvious they’re being,” he goes on. “'Cause all that googly-eyed, touchy-feely crap is about as subtle as Miley on the ol’ wrecking ball, and yet they still haven’t actually said anything. Even to us.”

Robert hums thoughtfully, leaning back against the wall with his hands in his pockets. “On the one hand,” he muses, “I think maybe they just don’t care who knows. They’re in love. Young, foolish and happy, all that jazz.” He shrugs, chewing the inside of his cheek for a moment. “But then again, I wouldn’t put it past them to think they’re being stealthy and then have a major freak out when it turns out people know.”

“Exactly,” Mackie agrees, poking RDJ in the chest with his index finger. “So I was thinking, whaddaya say we sit them down later to have a little chat? Just man-to-man, you know? I think they’d rather it came from us than from some Fox News reporter a few weeks down the line.”

Robert nods. “I see your point, my dear friend and also sometimes co-star,” he says, peering at him over the top of his tinted glasses. “I think the time has come for us to stage an intervention.”

\---

“Not gonna lie, this is a little ominous,” Sebastian chuckles, as he walks into the empty dressing room after Mackie and RDJ with Chris trailing in behind him.

“Yeah,” Chris says, “kinda feels like I’ve been called in to see the principal.”

Robert closes the door with a definitive sounding thud and then gestures towards the couch, his expression stern. “Please take a seat, boys.”

Mackie rolls his eyes as he sits down. “Don’t mind my man here, he's just being a dramatic asshole, as usual.” He waits until everyone is settled before he gets down to business, suddenly feeling a little awkward. It’s harder than he anticipated, now that he actually has to do this.

“Okay, so. Guys,” he starts, wringing his hands as he looks from Seb to Chris.

“Dudes,” Chris nods back, shifting to rest his right foot on his left knee and knocking his leg into Seb's. He makes himself comfortable, reclining against the back of the couch and draping his right arm over the backrest. When Seb settles back as well, doing his trademark manspreading thing and resting his hands on his thighs, he's effectively leaning into Chris’s one-armed embrace, looking for all the world like he belongs there.

“What’s this about, guys?” Sebastian eyes them with a healthy dose of suspicion. “Someone steal your lunch money?”

Chris snorts. “Wasn’t me,” he says, “and I can vouch for Seb. He was with me the whole time.”

“I bet he was,” RDJ mutters under his breath.

“What was that?” Chris asks, but before Robert can make any more suggestive comments, Mackie decides to just cut to the chase and come out with it, pun intended. He gives them his toothiest, most reassuring smile and makes sure that his posture is as nonthreatening as possible. “We just wanted to talk to you both about your relationship.”

Sebastian blinks at him. “Our relationship?” he repeats. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, buddy, no need to play coy with us,” Robert coaxes, spreading his arms wide and almost clocking Mackie in the face. “We're pals! Chums, even. We're not judging, okay? You know we just want you both to be happy.”

“While I appreciate that sentiment,” Chris says, “it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve got no fucking clue what you’re on about.”

“What he said,” Seb concurs, jabbing a thumb in Chris’s direction. 

“Look,” Robert sighs, “we understand that you’re trying to keep it on the down-low, but you can rest assured that we have absolutely no intention of snitching on you, ever, okay? Our point is, however, that you _yourselves_ aren’t actually being very subtle about any of this.”

“Yeah,” Mackie nods. “So we just wanted to let you know that _we_ know, and that at this rate, other people are soon gonna know, too. And if that’s what you’re aiming for then that’s totally fine, of course, and we'll support you guys no matter what. Won’t we, RDJ?”

“Yup, yes, absolutely.”

“But if you were planning on keeping it a secret, then we feel it’s our duty as friends –“

“– mentors, even –”

“– yes, thank you, Robert – our duty as friends, to inform you both that you’re not doing a very good job right now.” He shrugs. “Just so you know.”

In the silence that follows his words, Chris stares back at him with a confused frown creasing his forehead, while Sebastian's eyebrows have practically disappeared into his hairline.

“Um,” Chris says eventually. “What?”

“Yeah, what?” Seb asks.

“Cut the check!” Mackie exclaims. “Give it up, homeboys. We _know_.”

After a minute, Chris clears his throat and tentatively asks, “And what, exactly, is it you think you know?”

“We know," Mackie clarifies, "that you’re seeing each other, duh. _Romantically,_ ya know _._ ” He throws them an obnoxious wink.

“That's right,” Robert chimes in, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “We’re aware that you’re deeply, madly in love and are having lots of hot, sticky sex.”

There is another long moment of stunned silence. Then, simultaneously, Chris and Seb start spluttering, choking on thin air, and generally turning alarmingly red in the face.

“ _What_?” Seb squeaks.

“We’re _not_ …”

“No, _what_ ” – wheeze – “I mean, _no_ –”

“Why do you, what is, why –” 

“Yeah, did I... I mean, what do you, why – _why_ …”

After about ten seconds of this, Mackie genuinely starts fearing for the boys' brains, which appear in acute danger of melting out of their ears. He decides to intervene.

“ _Guys_ ,” he says, raising his voice to be heard over the chorus of awkward rambling. Two pairs of blue-ish eyes, panicked and round as saucers, fix on him immediately. “Take a deep breath, okay?” He gives the right example by miming the labor breathing he picked up in his wife’s prenatal classes.

“Okay, but wait,” Robert interjects. “Hold up. So you mean to tell us that you’re not actually dating?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Sebastian says emphatically, still sounding a little strangled. “I mean, _no_ , we’re not dating. Jeez.”

“We’re just good friends,” Chris supplies, sitting up rigidly with a strained smile stuck on his face. “Right, Seb?”

Seb hums affirmatively, studiously looking anywhere but at Chris.

Mackie blinks. “But. You two are always flirting. You’re always, like, touching each other’s biceps for no good reason, and just, I don’t know, _mooning_ over each other.” He does his best impression of a love-struck teenage girl by way of illustration.

“Yeah, and what about the eye fucking?” Robert asks, putting in his two cents. “Some of the looks you two give each other when the other’s not watching make the rest of us feel downright voyeuristic.”

Chris is now as red as a tomato, while, conversely, all the color seems to have drained from Sebastian's face. Mackie would almost feel sorry for them, if it weren’t for the fact that they look suspiciously like two kids that’ve been caught browsing the dirty magazine stand at the local convenience store. It makes Mackie’s spidey senses tingle. He could be wrong, but it very much looks like Chris and Sebastian are not actually telling them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

He carefully looks from one to the other, narrowing his eyes at them. “We’re not wrong, though, are we?” he says slowly. “You _are_ flirting.” When neither of them responds straight away, he prompts, “Aren’t you?”

“We’re not…” Seb starts weakly, but his half-formed reply is drowned out by a low groan from his left.

The sound makes Sebastian still. Cautiously, he turns towards Chris, eyes locking on his face as he studies his features for a few long, loaded seconds.

“Chris?” he asks eventually, very quietly.

Chris's eyes stay trained on his hands, folded in his lap. “Yeah?”

Sebastian licks his lips. “Is that, um... I mean, are you..?”

There’s another pause, until Chris gives a jerky nod.

Sebastian goes almost unnaturally still, never taking his eyes off the other man’s face. “What?” he asks, a little hoarsely. “Chris, what…”  

“I am flirting,” Chris says suddenly, his shoulders tense. “I'm so sorry, Seb. I'm not doing it on purpose, I swear. Last thing I wanna do is make you uncomfortable, but I just... I can’t help myself.” He finally looks up, a pained, pleading expression on his face. “I know that’s a shit excuse, though. I’ll try to tone it down. It doesn’t have to become a - a _thing_ , I promise.”

“But…” Sebastian frowns, giving a little shake of his head, as if to force his thoughts into some semblance of order. “Are you flirting because you just, like… like to flirt? Or what is – I mean, why…” He trails off uncertainly, and Mackie can’t help but feel for him this time. The poor guy lives his life in a state of mild confusion at the best of times, but right now he looks like he barely knows which planet he’s on. Forming coherent sentences is clearly beyond him.

Fortunately, Chris quickly puts him out of his misery. “I’m flirting because I like you,” he blurts, turning impossibly redder at his admission. Mackie suddenly wishes he'd had the foresight to bring popcorn. This is some quality drama, right here.

“You like me?” Sebastian repeats slowly. “You mean, like… _like_ me like me?”

“Yeah”, Chris sighs mournfully, almost managing to make it sound like a death sentence rather than a declaration of love. The look that accompanies his words, though, is soulful and full of undisguised longing, and makes Sebastian suck in a shaky breath.

Chris starts to say, “Look, Seb, I –“, but he's abruptly interrupted by Sebastian blurting out, “I like you, too.”

The statement is followed by about thirty seconds of Chris dumbly staring at Seb with his mouth hanging open. Mackie half expects a chorus of crickets to pipe up any moment now.

“You do?” Chris asks eventually, sounding breathless and a little disbelieving, like he's worried Seb is suddenly going to jump up and yell 'Gotcha!' while pointing finger guns at him. Instead, Sebastian just smiles; a tentative, nervous little thing that barely lifts the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I do,” he says bashfully, as the color returns to his cheeks with a vengeance.

“But you… I mean, you don’t…” Chris stops himself to take another deep breath. “I didn’t think you even liked men,” he says, visibly bracing himself for the response.

“Do you?” Sebastian retorts simply.

“I like you.”

“Well then,” Seb says with a shrug. “I like you.”

“I like you, too,” Chris repeats, nonsensically.

“Yeah, you said,” Sebastian smiles, lowering his chin a little and coyly looking up at Chris through his lashes.

Chris grins. “I did, didn’t I,” he says, and then these two knuckleheads proceed to smile dopily at each other like they’re the only ones in the room. In the world, even.

After a while, though, the air between them changes, morphing from giddy and happy into something more charged; the undeniable attraction that has always existed between them inexorably blooming into a heat that can be felt even across the room.

Chris shifts a little closer and hesitantly lifts a hand to Seb's face, brushing aside a strand of hair that’s fallen onto his forehead and tucking it tenderly behind his ear. Sebastian's breath hitches at the touch, his eyes fluttering closed, and Chris, bolstered by the reaction, slides his hand into Seb's thick, brunet locks to slowly pull him closer.

For a moment, time seems suspended as the room collectively holds its breath, and then, finally, Chris closes the remaining distance and gently presses his lips to Sebastian's.

Praise the lord, they’re kissing.

And kissing.

And kissing.

One of them – probably Seb – moans as the kiss deepens, and all of a sudden kissing turns into full-on making out, exploring tongues and wandering hands and all. Mackie has to admit that it’s a hell of a sight. He may not be into dudes himself, but he has _eyes_.

Before anyone can so much as blink, Sebastian's already wrapped his arms around Chris’s neck and is scrambling up, climbing into his lap to straddle him, all the while eagerly attempting to devour his mouth. Chris responds by enveloping Seb in his infuriatingly huge arms, pulling him closer as he feverishly runs his hands down his sides and back. When those hands finally come to rest on his ass and give it a firm squeeze, Sebastian groans loudly and rocks his hips into Chris’s.

And that, finally, is Mackie’s cue to step in. He sits up, raising both his hands in a defensive gesture. “Woah, wooaahh, boys!”

When there’s no immediate reaction, he turns to RDJ for support, only to find him intently watching the proceedings on the opposite couch, not seeming particularly inclined to give them any sort of privacy.

“Excuse me,” Mackie says, exasperated. “A little help here?”

“Come on, Anthony, live a little,” Robert says, only taking his eyes off the snogfest long enough to flash him a devilish grin.

Mackie rolls his eyes so hard it hurts and tries the boys again. “Hey, yeah,” he says, “So I'm thrilled for you guys and I hate to break this party up, but you realize we’re still here, right? Guys? Hey, _dudes_!”

With visible reluctance, Seb finally pulls away, as Chris cranes his neck in a pathetic attempt to chase his lips. Sebastian, who clearly has no spine whatsoever when it comes to Mr Muscle, immediately leans in again and Mackie has to resort to clearing his throat a few times. Loudly.

Thankfully, Seb then pulls back properly and turns his head to look at him. “What?” he asks, looking dazed, his pupils the size of dinner plates.

“I _said_ ; we’re still here,” Mackie huffs, giving a little wave. “So please, for all our sakes, save the acrobatics until you’re alone, okay?”

“Or you could just, I don’t know, leave,” Chris suggests shamelessly, the words muffled in the crook of Sebastian’s neck, his lips and beard brushing the sensitive skin, causing Seb to visibly shiver.

Mackie lets out an outraged squawk, but Robert just snorts. “Come on, Mack Attack,” he says, getting up and pulling on the sleeve of his jacket. “The lovebirds have spoken. Let’s get out of here.”  

Mackie sputters in protest – they haven’t even done what they came here to do yet, not really – but lets himself be pulled out of the room anyway. There’s always tomorrow, he figures. But before the door falls closed behind him, he stops to dart a final look over his shoulder. It’s not like the boys seem bothered by an audience, after all.

Chris has flipped them over and is now hovering over Sebastian, who’s lying back against the tattered couch and wrapping his long legs around Chris's waist. He looks up at Chris while seductively biting his lower lip, and Chris fucking _growls_ , grinding down and causing Seb to whine and arch his back. “You like that, pretty boy?” Chris murmurs, holding Seb’s gaze as he slowly starts to circle his hips. Sebastian lets out a breathy, “ _Please,_ Chris _,_ _yes_ ”, and surges up to attach himself to Chris’s face again.

Mackie lets out a long whistle as the door finally falls shut. _Damn_ , he thinks, reluctantly impressed. Who would’ve guessed wholesome white boys could be such kinky bastards.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come say hi on [Tumblr](https://musette22.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> And here's a rebloggable [link](https://musette22.tumblr.com/post/181861333691/intervention-musette22-multifandom-archive-of) for this fic on Tumblr, feel free to share if you like!


End file.
